Gay Men, Vulnerability and Intimacy Many gay men are very good at talking about their emotions. We can explain why we are angry. We can analyse why a relationship is struggling. We can describe what our partner did that upset us. We might even understand how our childhood, coming-out experiences, previous relationships or fears of rejection influence the way we behave today. Yet, for some gay men, there can be an important distinction … [Read more...]

  For some gay men, the body becomes much more than simply a body. It can become a place where questions of masculinity, desirability, belonging, safety and self-worth are negotiated. There is nothing inherently problematic about enjoying the gym, developing muscle or wanting to look attractive. The more interesting question is: “What does my body mean to me, and how much choice do I have in how I relate to it?” "I just feel better when … [Read more...]

  Relationships between gay men often begin after years of facing challenges around identity, belonging, family, culture, discrimination, and acceptance. Many gay men have spent part of their lives hiding who they are or worrying about how others will respond to them. While coming out and finding a loving relationship can be exciting and deeply rewarding, those earlier experiences do not simply disappear. They often shape how we connect with … [Read more...]

Bisexuality is often defined as attraction to more than one gender. But for many men, the lived experience is more complex than any single label can capture. Rather than a fixed or singular identity, bisexuality is better understood as an umbrella term that reflects a range of ways people experience attraction. For some men, this may mean being attracted to both men and women. For others, it may involve a primary attraction to one gender that … [Read more...]

Many of the men I work with come out later in life. Some are married to women. Many are fathers. Almost all carry a long history of knowing something about themselves that felt unsafe to name out loud. Often, they tell me they always knew. Sometimes the knowing was clear; sometimes it was confused by feelings for women and men or buried under the hope that things would somehow resolve themselves.  For many men, coming out as gay or same-sex … [Read more...]