Bisexuality is often defined as attraction to more than one gender. But for many men, the lived experience is more complex than any single label can capture. Rather than a fixed or singular identity, bisexuality is better understood as an umbrella term that reflects a range of ways people experience attraction. For some men, this may mean being attracted to both men and women. For others, it may involve a primary attraction to one gender that … [Read more...]
‘Coming Out’ Later in Life for Same Sex Attracted Married Men
Many of the men I work with come out later in life. Some are married to women. Many are fathers. Almost all carry a long history of knowing something about themselves that felt unsafe to name out loud. Often, they tell me they always knew. Sometimes the knowing was clear; sometimes it was confused by feelings for women and men or buried under the hope that things would somehow resolve themselves. For many men, coming out as gay or same-sex … [Read more...]
Emotional Intimacy: The Desire for Deep Connection in Gay, Bi and Queer Men
When we talk about intimacy in gay men's relationships, the conversation often jumps straight to sex. But intimacy runs deeper than physical closeness—it's also about feeling safe, understood, and emotionally connected. For many gay men, emotional intimacy comes with unique layers shaped by culture, identity, and personal history. Emotional intimacy—the sense of safety, connection, and vulnerability between partners is a core part of what makes … [Read more...]
The Power of Non-Sexual Touch in Gay, Bi and Queer Relationships
When we think about intimacy in gay relationships, our minds often go straight to sex. While sexual connection is important, it’s only one piece of the puzzle. One of the most powerful ways to stay close in a relationship has nothing to do with sex at all. What often gets overlooked is the quiet, steady, and deeply nourishing role of non-sexual touch, the kind of everyday physical closeness that says “I’m here, I’ve got you” without needing … [Read more...]
Age-gap relationships in same-sex attracted men. Is age a kink?
What is it about younger men that are attractive to older men, and does the younger person know what they want in an older man? What turns them both on, and who is clearer on what they are looking for? Tony Silva's (2023) research on age-gap relationships reported that in the Western world, same-sex (man-man) couples are far more likely to have age gaps compared to other relationships (woman-man and woman-woman). Also, in same-sex male … [Read more...]
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